Glad I’m not a comedian’s wife

As funny as my fiance is, I’m really glad I’m not marrying a comic because their wives cop it, big time.

We know the drill all too well here in Dubai. Unfortunately, many of the stand-up routines we see on tour here in the Middle East rely on old (or let’s be generous and say, timeless) material. Or they focus on material that is personal rather than sociopolitical because they don’t know where the line is here. For whatever reason, too often the comic’s wife or partner bears the brunt of a gag. But I’ve never heard a spouse cop so much abuse as Tom Stade’s wife at last night’s [Aussie beer-branded] Laughter Factory.

It’s mind-numbingly normal here to hear the one about about the wife’s nagging or her waning sexual interest (think about cause and effect here, funny men). Last night however, we heard about the brunt Stade’s long-suffering wife of 17 years is forced to bear: anal rape, in graphic fluid detail.

Don’t worry, Mrs Stade (Trudy, according to Wikipedia) loves it, behind her crying, he says. Hang on, that’s really not funny.

The Edinburgh-resident Canadian’s jaw-aching humour – and Trudy’s indignity – didn’t stop there. I had been wishing the ten-minute setup about his Groupon addiction would just end, but little did I know it would finally have a donkey of a punchline. Not even having forced himself into Trudy’s rectum (well, he slipped in there by accident, but stayed on purpose) could stop him extracting himself from her to retrieve his phone when the Groupon app announced a new sale.

I walked out of his routine at this point, through a packed house at the Grand Millennium Tecom, because I didn’t have the stomach for Trudy’s real or fictitious degradation being made a mockery like that. It was sick-making. Especially with all the woman-hating going on in Australia over the past week, I’m over the one about misogyny-as-humour.

Worryingly, his rape jokes obviously got some women going. Laughter Factory MC Gail Clough (who’d presumably been watching their shows all week) was so enamoured of Stade’s humour she introduced him as her favourite; a slap in the face for the rest of the line-up, which was hardly devoid of talent. Both incredibly funny and musically gifted to boot.

Charlie Baker seems to have missed his calling as a jazz singer. Some of the notes he was belting out (as a Cornish Frank Sinatra) stopped me breathing. I’d have to say he was my favourite, if only because it’s the first time I’ve snort-laughed at the Laughter Factory (did you know Devonshire women lactate clotted cream?).

Jim Tavare accompanied his dry wit with comedic skills on woodwind and strings. His rendition of Hendrix’s ‘Foxy Lady’ on the cello was unique. Tavare might have been trying to warn us about his fellow comedian’s sexual “humour” but we all thought he was being self-deprecating at the time and laughed along: some comedians are brought on to talk about sex to get you moist, he said, I’m brought on to dry you up.

I only hope Trudy avails herself of some moistening. Or listens closely to Tavare’s routine before she reaches her 18th anniversary of this, so she can hear that the Bridal March is only the Death March played backwards.

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  • Anonymous  On 31 August, 2013 at 10:03

    Well that was probably the most irresponsibly piece of blog I’ve read in a long time and if it’s ok with you without you sending me tweets about shoving the lyrics to blurred lines and telling me i can shove them up my gals ass (mature) I would like to debate something with you. First and foremost I will concede that there’s comedy out there that is not for some people! I’m guilty of it there’s some comedians I don’t like but I don’t get offended by them it’s just in my nature. Maybe I should but there’s things that do offend me but it’s mostly real life stuff like people being denied there human rights just small shit like that nothing as big as a comedy show. Now here’s where it get’s a little sticky. Now I’m not sure whether you know this or not but it is a bit of a consensus among most comedians (and there are exceptions) but people who get offended by certain subject matter usually have personal ties to the subject being talked about not saying you of course you might be holy defender for everyone in question. Now I’m not even going to deny anything I said at the show in your blog! Ah heck trust me when you don’t play it safe up there you have to take your criticism! If I dish it out “I” have to be able to take it! You aren’t the first and probably won’t be the last! Side note I’m not a fan of safe comedy! Believe it or not I have a bit of a dark side! Next point now is there any other position me and my gal are not allowed to do cause not all of us are man on top get it over with quick (george carlin quote just so you know) sometimes it might get kinky! Shit happens when your drunk and in love! (not misogyny just fun sex) And you’ll notice I used the words “my gal” it’s what I call her on stage because she is My gal. not in a possessive way but in an affectionate way! Married in vegas what can I say we were wild when we were younger but I’ll come back to that! Also I glad you liked Charlie and Jim they are fabulous people. Now here’s where I find you completely irresponsible first off I never used the word “rape” and you inferred “long suffering”! Sorry you didn’t like my play on words smile behind the tears. Actually I’m very surprised you didn’t like the indoor fruit tree joke. Just between you and me I bet you did. Got to the making love in the most unnatural way part is probably when you realised you can’t like me! No probs! Now here’s where you crossed the line like I said I always use “My Gal” which means you went out of your way not to just say I didn’t like the show but had to find out My gals name! Funny how you never mentioned your fiancé name? And I hope you two get married and are as happy as (ah what the heck you already let the cat out of the bag) Trudy and I. By naming her in your blog a person you don’t know or even met. Not cool and I hope I makes you feel good you got that anger of your chest. It does show what kind of person you are! Nice! Come at me all you want I’ll debate comedy and free speech all day long! Oh one more thing did the group on joke on bbc 3 to help raise money for waverlycare (kids in need) and it killed!

    You know who!

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